Playing in SL

I haven't been in SL for such a long time, but I have recently been popping my head in to see how things are.
Today, while home with a very hideous cold, I have been stretching my graphics-muscles and seeing if I can remember all the things that used to be second nature.

Today's goal was to put new windows into the bedroom. The old ones were for a crowded street where the view was nothing much, so I allowed for them to be opaque. I have replaced those windows and changed the cornices and colour and tadah.. prettier bedroom :)

Next

4.5 years ago I was dancing with Eleanor in Caledon. It was an odd dance and people didn't seem to be mixing much so after a while of talking between ourselves we left and went about our business.
I was quite surprised then to get a tap at my virtual window from a virtual stranger. He had been at the dance, seen me there and thought he should introduce himself.

The rest is history and I have recorded it all before now. Mark has now come twice to visit me in Oz. And now I have, stored electronically, my tickets to  visit him.

It's pretty darn exciting.

Any other mention of a trip to the UK and I would be planning to see castles and museums. This time? Well if I happen to wander amongst some history while I am there, it will be the marshmallows on my hot chocolate.

After building a friendship-turned-romance on the internet, over so many years, I have to say the distance factor is driving me crazy. And I do get concerned that it is more than a hyperbole when I use that expression. It is so hard!

We sit with headsets on for hours. Sometimes my ears almost beg me not to. And sitting staring at the screen when you work at a monitor all day? Not the activity of first preference.

Sitting for hours with words swirling through your head and no presence, there are misunderstandings. And there is the other-side-of-the-world thing where he is falling asleep just as I am struggling to wake. 

So what next? How to move on from here? Well the Ozzie government doesn't recognise this as a relationship. I don't really blame them, but cripes it makes it difficult. To bring Mark here, I have to promise to marry him within 7 months of his arrival. That's if he wants to work. 
And he is proud.
He wants to work

And I guess that would be on the lists of reasons why I am willing to risk it all again.

And so we talk about it. How. When. How. When. 
Back and forth.
And the sad thing is that to be together, there's just the one choice.

Sometimes I am terrified. I have been married. It terrifies me to be put in the position of trusting someone again. On a bad day, marriage looks like a trap, solitary confinement.

One regular issue of contention: calls to work place. Neither past tense nor current partner respond well to an impromptu call. I have never had the luxury of building a habit of wasting their time, so I don't understand why neither would/will receive my calls with a hint of pleasure. My job is stressful. My phone rings all day long. The demands on my attention are not insignificant, but it pleases me to hear Mark's voice enough to be distracted from these things. Enough to make it a desirable event. A happily anticipated one. (Is this a man thing?)

And so I feel bars of the trap inching around me. Where I am literally on call, but can not reach out myself.

The trouble with this 'internet' relationship: Too much thinking. Too much talking. Plenty of things said that can be taken the wrong way, given too much importance. And then sorted. And reconciled. And that is where the phone-calls-at-work struggle sits - In the reconciled basket -but I am so ready to move beyond this.

We have had so little time being together. And yet have spent more time together than any couple I know of. I know what Mark's intentions are. I know that he is completely unselfish in his desire for me to be happy. We are actually, quite devoted to each other :)

(Mushy alert)

In the three weeks we had together in January, our happiness in being together was as crystal clear and as bright as the Australian January days were. Being together. Doing together. That kind of happiness is worth marrying for!! So we are working our way forward.

And I am waiting now for the next step in this very slow journey - 93 days the counter says. Doesn't matter what kind of summer the Poms put on for me, I think it will be bright and sunny.

A day at Hobbysew

On Friday I had a day teaching at Hobbysew. I haven't done that for ages. In the class were Moonbi, Sue and Denise. At this stage, Denise and Sue were still cutting while Moonbi charged off ahead. Cutting fabric for a job gives you a head start. (Note: I did not say for a living LOL)

Moonbi was the first to be able to see her fabrics spin, once her cutting was done.

Denise got the hang of things despite needing a confidence injection, and completed the two plates above. She knew by then that she was good to finish the rest at home, and then wandered into the store for some retail therapy.
Sue's are pictured below and are in Australian native flowers. They would make a great gift for some one overseas,

Moonbi finished her set completely. Only accomplished by a few in the history of the class. Her plan is to make more and make a sizable quilt I believe!

Dog+Summer=

Top left is my drawing from back in June. Remaining three as at March 2013

It is a long time since I have been blogging!
It doesn't mean I have given up on the things in the story of the blog, just running low on energy for blogging. I think the main reason would be the heat! Such a hot January we have had. 5C hotter average temperature for January.
It turns out that watering a new garden - through a summer like that - is almost as difficult as planting it in the first place! February wasn't as hot, but by then everything was dry and stressed.

The suburb's water tower is hardly any height above us so the water pressure is not enough to have two spinklers running. In Pollyanna-form, I say I am glad that I have only a small yard. Nonetheless my trees have really struggled. Especially the Japanese Maples.

Top left in the photo above I have the drawing-over-photo I did back in June illustrating the path I thought I would lay. And then three shots of the real thing. It's now almost done. It's laid, though I have yet to push the soil and bark back to the edges.

 It looks exactly as I imagined

 Now I wait for the plants to mature and then I think it will look rather nice. And a lot cooler and soothing. The fish pot has a little solar powered fountain in it....until the dog discovers the cord connecting the solar panel to the pump. Then I would guess the pump will become wire/plastic/ex-dog food for me to collect in my rubber gloves in my weekly dog poop round...ewwww.....

The dog (seen blurring the shot in bottom left of the collage) has run through the garden as well as all the photos I tried to take tonight. His tracks are in the bark chips and lawn. His impact, bodily and toothily, have been felt by all the plants. His mouth has a curiosity that means that new, woody plants will be chewed down to stumps.

Above (bottom right, though a bit hard to see) is the Lilac tree he ate in October. After he mauled it, it sat stump-like for months until I did what mum suggested; cut off the chewed bits. Hardly anytime after its operation, it sprouted! It had been sending all its energy into trying to repair. Mothers sure know stuff!
And above that in the same photo is a Magnolia I am growing as an espalier. Originally I had it tied with strips of stocking. The dog stood on his hind legs and undid the stockings leaving plant intact. How is that possible? And why the restraint after so much carnage? Having perfected the technique, he then untied all the other tethered trees around the yard. I have had to replace all with nylon cable ties.

Since laying the pebbles between the pavers, a crop of chewed pebbles have appeared on the back veranda. Not good for his teeth. But better for my hoses. (Think 30 m of hose reduced to 50 cm or less pieces)

Someone remind me why I wanted another dog?

I love rain!

It has been a pretty hot summer. Days and days of blue skies and midday heat that forces you inside. Sticky oppressive heat that leaves you listless and drowsy.

But today it decided to rain!

I got up with a schedule of cleaning to do and I promised myself to be one with the lawn mower at the cool end of day. 

By early afternoon I was doing paperwork for the department of something or another so my big boys can get a study allowance. It used to go to me so I could pay to feed them, wash  and house them, etc. The Government has decided it is better to give them money and if they are nice chaps, they may give some to their dear old mum as board. Well that sucked nearly 2 hours out of my life that I can't get back. I would rather be in labour!

And then as we went to get Kate's school uniforms to hem, it started to rain. My washing was still on the line but I was thrilled.

I have sat in my room, working on the uniforms, hearing the cars swoosh by on the road. The air has a lovely crispness. I hate hemming clothes, but how much happier to be doing it on a rainy day!

I am sure we have had more rain than the official gauge: My sheets were very wet when I rescued them from the clothes line. The irony of having to put them in the dryer after all the heat of the last few weeks was not lost on me,

Gardening is good for the soul

This morning I could have been mistaken for something of steampunk design as the bottled fuming crankiness must have let a steady stream of steam escape my ears and little angry nostrils.

I decided however that rather than sit about being charmless, I would go and attack the garden.

Before and after

Today's project was the northern front garden bed. The one that flanks the driveway of the house whose builder caused so mush angst in 2012.

One of the residual issues from his careless mess was a huge hump of clay pushed onto the garden bed between us. It had set like cement over the last 9 months. Early this week, in the evening after work I had gone out with the crowbar and begun breaking it up, but it was clearly going to be horribly hard work.

Yesterday I had another shot at it, but being so hard and the weather so hot, I didn't last long.... and then it rained and rained last night. Thank heavens.

So this morning, full of righteous anger for being stood up at 6.30am (it is a particularly special time to be stood up I have to tell you,) I headed out into the morning and threw all that anger into the crowbar. The rain had done a good job on my already loosened dirt.

My garden and the neighbour's petrol station- driveway still a little wet after I hosed it down to make sure I didn't leave any mess. The house is not finished yet, and though it has a for sale sign, no evidence of marketing.

After about an hour of that I could see progress was being made so I went inside to see if my date had turned up. Nope. So in a fit of peevishness, I threw myself back into bed and fell asleep so that I wouldn't dwell on being cranky

When I woke up I got myself back out there. I had lost the advantage of the cool morning, but not my will to see the job done. I threw weeds all over the neighbour's driveway (OK so I hadn't run out of peevishness). And carted a good portion of their clay back out of my garden and onto their builders' rubble.

I got the plants in, chosen from the collection I seem to continue to accumulate on my front door step, spread hay over as mulch, picked up all the weeks I had spread next door and watered it all in.

So there it is!
The front yard is done!

Bland home with stunning Ozzie colours

  
A few bits of twiddling no doubt, but the back bone is in and the hard work done! 

Progress over months

More on Sanity

On Monday I got stuck back into work after a 3 week holiday with the kids and Mark. Some at home and some down the coast.
I think it counts as the best holiday I have had in 20 years. More than 20 actually. No nappies, shared house work and great company. I haven't had that in a holiday for more years that I can figure. No wonder I loved it.

Dinner at Taylors' with Mum and Dad; my Kids and Jock's kids; and Mark.

On the topic of having Mark come and stay - 
sigh
Normally I am happy to pour my whole soul onto the blog, but this little nugget of happiness seems too precious to throw out to the world so I am keeping it close to my heart!

So why did I call the blog 'More on Sanity'?

Last time I wrote I was definitely feeling rocky. Over the course of the holiday, I felt my feet settle underneath me and found solid ground. By the time I made it back to work, I felt fabulous. I felt a clarity that I haven't been able to grasp for months. 

Sitting on the deck at Bemagui. Jazz band and sunshine

I have felt for a while now that I haven't really had a holiday for a long time. And the effects of this one seem to bare it out. Arriving back at work feeling so much better, I have decided that when it all came down to it, it wasn't drugs I needed, it was a holiday with Mark, Mum, Dad and the kids.

Lunch at Grandma's Bakery on the Federal Highway near Collector

Blue sky to entice Mark back

Rest. Fun. Stimulation. Sleep. Sun. Exercise. And a huge dollop of romance. (Imagine me rolling my eyes then add a bit of eyebrow waggling)

I hate seeing photos of myself, but love them of Mark enough  to include this one

Feeling mushy enough to post pictures of myself might be quite as insane as before but infinitely more enjoyable.