I love rain!

It has been a pretty hot summer. Days and days of blue skies and midday heat that forces you inside. Sticky oppressive heat that leaves you listless and drowsy.

But today it decided to rain!

I got up with a schedule of cleaning to do and I promised myself to be one with the lawn mower at the cool end of day. 

By early afternoon I was doing paperwork for the department of something or another so my big boys can get a study allowance. It used to go to me so I could pay to feed them, wash  and house them, etc. The Government has decided it is better to give them money and if they are nice chaps, they may give some to their dear old mum as board. Well that sucked nearly 2 hours out of my life that I can't get back. I would rather be in labour!

And then as we went to get Kate's school uniforms to hem, it started to rain. My washing was still on the line but I was thrilled.

I have sat in my room, working on the uniforms, hearing the cars swoosh by on the road. The air has a lovely crispness. I hate hemming clothes, but how much happier to be doing it on a rainy day!

I am sure we have had more rain than the official gauge: My sheets were very wet when I rescued them from the clothes line. The irony of having to put them in the dryer after all the heat of the last few weeks was not lost on me,

Gardening is good for the soul

This morning I could have been mistaken for something of steampunk design as the bottled fuming crankiness must have let a steady stream of steam escape my ears and little angry nostrils.

I decided however that rather than sit about being charmless, I would go and attack the garden.

Before and after

Today's project was the northern front garden bed. The one that flanks the driveway of the house whose builder caused so mush angst in 2012.

One of the residual issues from his careless mess was a huge hump of clay pushed onto the garden bed between us. It had set like cement over the last 9 months. Early this week, in the evening after work I had gone out with the crowbar and begun breaking it up, but it was clearly going to be horribly hard work.

Yesterday I had another shot at it, but being so hard and the weather so hot, I didn't last long.... and then it rained and rained last night. Thank heavens.

So this morning, full of righteous anger for being stood up at 6.30am (it is a particularly special time to be stood up I have to tell you,) I headed out into the morning and threw all that anger into the crowbar. The rain had done a good job on my already loosened dirt.

My garden and the neighbour's petrol station- driveway still a little wet after I hosed it down to make sure I didn't leave any mess. The house is not finished yet, and though it has a for sale sign, no evidence of marketing.

After about an hour of that I could see progress was being made so I went inside to see if my date had turned up. Nope. So in a fit of peevishness, I threw myself back into bed and fell asleep so that I wouldn't dwell on being cranky

When I woke up I got myself back out there. I had lost the advantage of the cool morning, but not my will to see the job done. I threw weeds all over the neighbour's driveway (OK so I hadn't run out of peevishness). And carted a good portion of their clay back out of my garden and onto their builders' rubble.

I got the plants in, chosen from the collection I seem to continue to accumulate on my front door step, spread hay over as mulch, picked up all the weeks I had spread next door and watered it all in.

So there it is!
The front yard is done!

Bland home with stunning Ozzie colours

  
A few bits of twiddling no doubt, but the back bone is in and the hard work done! 

Progress over months

More on Sanity

On Monday I got stuck back into work after a 3 week holiday with the kids and Mark. Some at home and some down the coast.
I think it counts as the best holiday I have had in 20 years. More than 20 actually. No nappies, shared house work and great company. I haven't had that in a holiday for more years that I can figure. No wonder I loved it.

Dinner at Taylors' with Mum and Dad; my Kids and Jock's kids; and Mark.

On the topic of having Mark come and stay - 
sigh
Normally I am happy to pour my whole soul onto the blog, but this little nugget of happiness seems too precious to throw out to the world so I am keeping it close to my heart!

So why did I call the blog 'More on Sanity'?

Last time I wrote I was definitely feeling rocky. Over the course of the holiday, I felt my feet settle underneath me and found solid ground. By the time I made it back to work, I felt fabulous. I felt a clarity that I haven't been able to grasp for months. 

Sitting on the deck at Bemagui. Jazz band and sunshine

I have felt for a while now that I haven't really had a holiday for a long time. And the effects of this one seem to bare it out. Arriving back at work feeling so much better, I have decided that when it all came down to it, it wasn't drugs I needed, it was a holiday with Mark, Mum, Dad and the kids.

Lunch at Grandma's Bakery on the Federal Highway near Collector

Blue sky to entice Mark back

Rest. Fun. Stimulation. Sleep. Sun. Exercise. And a huge dollop of romance. (Imagine me rolling my eyes then add a bit of eyebrow waggling)

I hate seeing photos of myself, but love them of Mark enough  to include this one

Feeling mushy enough to post pictures of myself might be quite as insane as before but infinitely more enjoyable.

Sanity

I feel like I am going insane.
I don't seem to be able to hold the threads of stable emotions with or without drugs.
I hurt the people I value.

I don't want to be in people's lives because I am too much of a mess and no one can support me and I hurt them with my expectations.

And even though I know this I can't change it.

So I want to sit in my cupboard, in the dark and touch no one.

Twas the day before Christmas

Santa's coming tonight.
Good luck to him, poor bugger.
It rained last night so with the 35 C day today I think that red suit is looking like a misery. And when he steps into my house, he is going to find his suffering added to.

On Thursday, something went wrong with Ponyo's tummy and the laundry was a complete disaster area after his night's sleep. Well, I cleaned it up, aired the house and decided that he is big enough now to be an outside dog.

So Friday night he barked a little, but Saturday night, with his Uncle Doug to share the yard with, he barked all night.

I needed sleep -desperately-so last night I did a deal with the little devil and let him sleep in the laundry again.

This morning Mum greeted me with the news that she thought he had been sick. Understatement. Every excretion a dog can make was made. The smell was profoundly bad. Even now, showered and at work I feel like I can still smell it.

I am guessing his diet of garden hoses, camellias, bark, tissues, and anything else he can get his teeth onto is catching up on his tummy.

But in any case, we have a very seriously funky smell going on in the house that a hot and sweaty Santa is not going to 'dig'.

Twas the night before Christmas

Well actually it was the weekend before my parents arrive for Christmas......

Not much time for a wordy story as I am now fighting the clock to get ready for Christmas. I am up at the crack of dawn blogging because that is the only time left.

I needed to get the garden to the next stage. I begged the kids to help. My shoulder has been a complete cow for months now. But despite unhelpful kids and shoulder, I was determined to get this done before mum and dad arrive for Christmas.

So I got up on Sunday morning and went flat out. And when I didn't finish, I got up Monday morning and did some more.

And when I didn't finish, I got home from a Christmas 'do' and worked some more.

And by then it was 10pm and too dark for photos ops.... hence the dawn blogging!

Now for the photos!
First the before and after progress collection.....

See... progress!

The front view

Really should shift the hose for the show off shots!

Garden Hazard

Erin, Ponyo and John

A happy picture of an adored pup. A face of calm puppyiness?

What this picture doesn't reveal is that the dog is a maniac.

This week I estimate he has eaten about $100 worth of camelias. They were the large camelias I bought to replace the small ones he ate earlier.

He has eaten a Japanese maple and has started on his second.

He ate a pistachio tree.

And the top out of the lilac tree.

The very expensive ground covering wattle has been reduced by half a couple of times now.

And he mowed down a magnolia tree.

This weekend I think it will be fence building time where a section of the yard will become his  own yard while we are out for the day. I simply can't afford his tastes!